i've thought about it for twenty two years.
but today i wasn't even thinking,
i just felt it.
i want the following experiences:
dating.
i want to date at least one person.
i want to be swept away by excitement once more.
i want to have butterflies.
and hilarity.
and embarrassing moments.
i want to get to know someone.
and have them get to know me.
i want to learn so much more about God.
i want to make out again.
i want to find balance.
i want to go on a road trip.
i want to cause 1 display of public affection.
i want to laugh so hard with that date person.
i want to get married.
i want to have sex.
with that person.
but more than all of these things.
i want to meet that person.
it hit me today.
as i stood.
alone.
i want to meet him
i want to know what he's like.
i want to know what he's weird about.
i want to know what his favorite shirt is.
i want to know what i'll like about him.
i want to know what ill dislike about him.
i want to know what he's doing right now.
today i leaned over to my father and said
"dad, one day i might get married! aren't you so excited to meet him?"
and he genuinely was.
and i felt it.
so am i.
it's nice to be excited for something that i have no control over.
it's nice to be excited for what God has in store.
it's nice to be excited and anticipatory just for anything.
i might not date.
i might not get married.
i might never kiss again.
i might never have sex, i hope that is not true.
but even if all of those things don't come to fruition,
i'm still excited.
because one day ill get to feel
the full and completed satisfaction of whatever this
conception of excitement is meant for.
the birth of whatever this building anticipation is,
i look forward to.
man do i just want to make out with whoever that dude is.