Sunday, March 17, 2013

.to whom i love.

if and when i meet you
i pray you'll notice my fingerprints, as i will have memorized yours.
i need you to love God more than me.
for i want to be in a romance with the Maker of it.
i hope you love me differently than anyone you've ever loved.
because i'm different than anyone you've ever met.
please be patient and kind with me.
i know i lack the gentleness that a typical woman should posses
but that doesn't mean i don't need it.
if you can't figure me out every day, that's okay just know this;
i love paint, songs that mean everything or nothing,
i notice the little things, id do anything for my friends,
i need to cry, sometimes i have no clue what i feel,
and i need you to make me believe that you love me.
i pray that you are a man of God,
a version of which i've never met.
please try not to be mean to me.
i'm trying to learn how not to be mean to you before i meet you.
i'm trying to learn not to say things out of pure emotional response.
i'm trying to learn how best to love you.
please forgive me for all i have done and will do.
i think how best to love you is to love God.
i pray that you are a man of the Lord who never
intentionally be littles me or hurts my feelings.
when i make the commitment to give my heart to you
and share my life with you forever i am also
committing to sacrifice for you, even though i'm currently not good at that.
i will fight for you, this i promise.
i'm tired.
i'm glad you're not here yet.
i'm not ready.
if youre here right now
please forget everything you've seen
and come back later.
and if you never come...
it's alright.
i'll love our Maker.